i'm so dumb!

oh well! *aqela sigh*

haha

things have change for this one whole year.

i think i changed! a lot. dot.

i have lost friends along this one year, i became more immature, i had hate myself so much this year, studies is so-so that before and i became dumb!

what i discovered about myself is that i became hate-able to so many people.

in which i think i cannot change anymore.

my heart have became so 'keras'.

i have became so bad this few months.

because i am geram. i dunno why i am geram. *hurm, i still in search of it* :)

i talk to much of my problems to close friends until some friends thinks i'm too immature!

i know i know. i AM VERY immature.

i will try to change.

but anyway.

i have a problem and i cannot handle it~

haha.

but actually, i want to thanks to a few people who were there for me.

i cant mention the names, but yeah thank u!

hehe.

kulat, parasit, penggoda licik, papa, penggoda licik 2! *apa ni? :D*

hahaha.

tp kepada seseorg ni. sorry giler sbb td termarah dier.

cos i find the statement she gave me was a bit sad.

minta maaf miss nadia saidon!

mistake of mine! :)

lately saya takde perasaan. I don't know why, but yeah. I haven't update my blog much cos most of the time i'm addicted to FACEBOOK. haha. until there are a few friends kinda joking me what am i doing at the moment, they will definitely said i'm playing with facebook! oh well, its true~ :D i AM ADDICTED to facebook. tried to be away from it, but it will only last paling lama 2-3 days. hehe. actually sebab selalu bukak facebook utk main games and check a few people latest update. :)

ok eventually these days might be a few status of mine is quite down. some of it is untrue. in which the latest one. Actually, i was down, but not as down as the week before. sebab dh kena therapy kan? so i was okay dh. just saje2 buat status camtu. so for those who actually worried (maybe la ada kot, i pemes sikit *perasan* haha), don't worry~ haha. i know my mistakes and i won't tell it to you. i have seen the mistakes and i know where to betulkan and i am degil. so u can just lay back. i might not ask all of u to support me, but i know who will back me up. i might be sombong or kacang lupakan kulit, but there are people who actually won't support me. therefore i intended to back off from those people. so i won't be label. i am tiring of being label. hope u understand. i know i am very degil. i listen, but sometimes a friend words may hurt you ore. so sometimes to certain people, i can't tell my problems. it is just the way it is. one reason i can't tell a person may be cos once they hurt my feelings. so rather than happen again, i have the tendency of can't open up to them anymore. haha. sometimes you have friends who actually be-friended you for their own benefits. i am not being emotionally cos i am not at the moment. i do not feel anything. i know i can be an idiot. cos i am most of the time. but don't make it as it is my mistake most of the time. i may seem to be abandon some of my friends. but u have to eventually understand. but yeah. let just say, i wasn't that friend when u needed me kot kan?

i know these are a bit merepek. but it doesn't matter. hahaha.

as for my studies, i have a new aim! *yay* to study hard and forget the nonsense stuff around me~~ i am STRONG! i know that, but i just ignore it mostly. haha. my aim is to have a better chance and graduate happily~~~ *wink wink*

PS: eventually i miss someone deeply inside! so deep i cannot remember besar mana but that person might actually forget me. i know that person does not remember me at all! *merajuk merajuk* hahaha. rumate kata jgn sedih. sem depan kan ada lg. hahahahaaha. rumate ku kali ni paling best! cyg anda. ;) u were there when i was ugly, cantik, bengong! :P i was thankful to know u. thanks a lot!! and that is why i love her much, my rumate~

*take note* i going to marry DS, people~!

okay people!
please sit down. i wanna announce something..
i'm going to get married.
wit DS~!
not Derek Sheridan or Daniel Scott or daging special burger ke.
tp DATA STRUCTURE~!!!
ya, itu la jejaka idaman saya.
tepat 28 December ni akan kawen lg ngan DS tu ek.
sila dtg ke majlis perkahwinan aqela ngan en DATA STRUCTURE di DK1~!
sumer dijemput hadir.

*dlm hati aqela tgh menyumpah seranah si mr ctk nie. adess. dier nak suh amik baper kali atau aqela bodoh sgt data structure nie.*

rosak benar feeling raya aidiladha kali nie~~

adakah saya benar-benar bodoh DATA STRUCTURE?? sila jawab kan. sgt sakit hati ni.. :((

i'm suffering~

just got back from night rider event II.

with azrie, nadhrah as well 1st year junior FSKTM; bazli ngan alif. :)

best giler. kitaorg g medan selera dkt mana ntah, tp area vistana hotel.

next destination were dataran merdeka tp sekejap sbb sunyi giler.

then we went to stop at 7-11 at the dataran merdeka as well heading to shah alam for a ronda-ronda!

haha. it was definitely fun!

weeeeeee~!

sgt best bg saya yg sgt kecewa.

seriously i was DAMN devastated today!

how seriously i wanted to cried at warung the moment i got to know the truth.

i reached back to college at 10.10pm at night.

then went off to eat dinner at warung wit azrie + nadh~

was happy 1stly, then felt dumb the next moment.

i was definitely admire the person and was about to get to know him.

only to discover i was cheated.

he definitely played me.

i was shocked to know he was eventually close to a person i trust.

i mean that i knew the girl who was with him had a boyfriend~!

cos i knew i saw & tegur her before when she went dating wit her bf.

they might be friends.

but can a friend be having dinner, just the 2 of them & lepak together just the 2 of them for like 3 days or so?

i don't know. i might jump into conclusion so fast, but i know i was hurt!

DEFINITELY IT HURTS!

i was down!

i talked to the girl when i, azrie and nadh went to DM.

haha. but my mind was elsewhere. i couldn't straight.. *weak smile*

soon i discovered i went night ranger with all 4 of FSKTM students of different year intake!! haha

padan muka! amat la tensen ngan exam x prepare sgt, pastu kena sebijik bdk yg diminati ngan org lain. *weeeee... benci~!*

i was so hurt even what other said to me i couldn't accept.

so... i went off to sms-ing husna about it!

damn love her for being supportive! as well as azrie + nadhrah for being there!

love the 3 of them for being there.. :)

appreciated u guys much. XD

lepas sms-ing husna, i sms-ing firdaus. *my fave 1st year guy junior*

thx a bunch to him for giving me a supportive shoulder and inspiration!

thanks for supporting me and on my side.

the way husna, azrie + nadhrah been supportive the whole night and morning!

haha. oh x habaq yg kitaorg kuar gi jalan2 kat kl from 12 in the morning to 6am~!!!!

woooohooo!

kami gila... hahahahhahahaha..

anyway, take note that i still HURT~!

but thanks for the ride~! totally forgot about it the whole 6 hours. hahaha..

aqela is moving on~~

broken heart ke? not me. maybe. [done]

perasaan hari ini kurang baik~! entah mengapa. maybe sebab ternampak sesuatu yg unexpected. terkejut kah saya? yup. terkejut bangat. kenapa terkejut? entah. tp x perlu. sebab saya rasa saya mempunyai hati yg kuat mcm tiger biskut. berikut luahan hati dan keluhan hati. =) kekadang terasa tertipu kerana si DIA sebab teringin DIA. tp ku pasrah udah. kumbang bukan seorg! *aqela smile ok~!* :)


am i broken hearted? 50/50

did i actually knew the case where the person actually did have someone special?
yes, i doubt he did, but he didn't tell me the truth. always told me he is scared to be in love.

am i sad? most probably~!

am i jealous?
not really cos i knew somewhere deep inside he have someone. i knew cos he couldn't accept me.

am i a damn ass to believe him? maybe. to think back, yeah maybe.

have i actually moved on with life without him? yeah. something like 60/40 or 70/30.

will i eventually forget him? yeah, i know i will. but it takes time.

why did i feel pain? i have no idea

do i still like him? no~! *seriously*

why i sometimes feel pity for myself? cos i think i wasn't that confident. can't fight for what i want. i am weak. i din't get what i want. FULL STOP.( *.*')V

why did i still felt the pain, not a pang of jealous, but the pain of looking to things i didn't get?
no idea. the feeling is something complex..

[end for now]

**feeling sad but not so. macam mana tu? hahaha*