ayat-ayat cinta mengaburi mata!

PUISI AYAT-AYAT CINTA

Duhai makhluk yang lembut hatinya
Aku tak ada siapapun kecuali Allah di hatiku
Aku ingin menjadi yang halal bagimu
Yang dapat dengan sepenuh hati mengecup keningmu
Sehingga tak ada lagi resah yang menyelimuti qolbu
Untuk redamkan tiap riak-riak harapan itu
Bukan semata untukku
Tapi juga untuk-Nya…
Karena ku malu saat merindu-Nya
Ku juga merindumu
Ku berdoa mengharap kepada-Nya
Ternyata juga karena ku mengharapkanmu

Maafkan aku…
Sungguh, jodoh bukan milikku…
Ketidaksanggupanku saat ini menyisakan sebuah kepasrahan
Ku kan kembali kepada Ar-Rahmaan
Harapan menjadi harapan
Dan biarlah menjadi rahasia tak terungkap sepanjang zaman
Jika ku pun pantas menjemputmu
Maka biarlah Allah yang mengantarkanku padamu
Di saat yang tepat
Dengan proses yang cepat
Namun sungguh pun bila kita tak bertemu
Maka biarkan menjadi kisah sejati
Yang tak akan pernah mati
Ya! takkan pernah mati.
(from: http://masthoms16.wordpress.com/2008/03/02/puisi-ayat-ayat-cinta/)

Ayat-ayat Cinta - Sebuah Puisi

Bidadariku,
Namamu tak terukir
Dalam Catatan harianku
Asal usulmu tak hadir
Dalam diskusi kehidupanku
Wajah wujudmu tak terlukis
Dalam sketsa mimpi-mimpiku
Indah suaramu tak terekam
Dalam pita bathinku
Namun kau hidup mengaliri pori-pori cinta dan semangatku
Sebab
Kau adalah hadiah agung
Dari tuhan
Untukku
(from: http://apieceofwidie.blogspot.com/2006/04/ayat-ayat-cinta-sebuah-puisi.html)

dear readers,
i do not know what is in my mind now at 4.06am on tuesday morning dated 9 March 2010. feeling in a lovey dovey mood. haha. tetiba teringat novel ayat-ayat cinta. i think most probably because i listen to ketika cinta bertasbih by melly goeslow feat amee and selawat burdah from amar everyday makes me somewhat tenang. haha. but yeah, another thing is i try to be strong. kenapakah aqela selalu nangis? i know some of my friends are REALLY DAMN BORED of me being a crybaby these days. but what the hell? do i look like i care? oh well. hahaha. pandai je ckp aqela ni, tp nanti sedih lagi. but its okay. slowly i'll be mature and stronger. : ) though i know i am somewhat alone actually. i know i never had that person who will actually be there for me all along. i know there isn't anyone who actually can tahan with me. the problem is that i am so much of a manja person and crybaby as well as talk a lot about my problems that i never actually listen to other people feeling. my fault in a way, too taksub with my own problem. sedar jugak actually. tp kekadang cam x disengajakan. uuuuuwwww~ sorry sgt to my friends yang merasai begitu. anyway, me off to assignment balik! huhu.. aja-aja fighting~~

xoxoxo, aqela = )

damn! i miss u~

dear people.

i'm tired of this feeling.
can i just not have this feeling anymore?
can i?
but i miss him so terribly!!
i do!
i wanted to see him today, but he got stuff to do.
i really miss him.
so much until i cannot tahan already.
uwaaaaa...
x suka this feeling~
can i just say that i like u without any shyness and be brave?
can i just scream out saying that i love u without thinking and wish u say "yes i like u too"?
can i possible have something this time.
for real.
for me.
for the love i have long enough waited for.


xoxo, aqela @ kiki

i'm suffering~

just got back from night rider event II.

with azrie, nadhrah as well 1st year junior FSKTM; bazli ngan alif. :)

best giler. kitaorg g medan selera dkt mana ntah, tp area vistana hotel.

next destination were dataran merdeka tp sekejap sbb sunyi giler.

then we went to stop at 7-11 at the dataran merdeka as well heading to shah alam for a ronda-ronda!

haha. it was definitely fun!

weeeeeee~!

sgt best bg saya yg sgt kecewa.

seriously i was DAMN devastated today!

how seriously i wanted to cried at warung the moment i got to know the truth.

i reached back to college at 10.10pm at night.

then went off to eat dinner at warung wit azrie + nadh~

was happy 1stly, then felt dumb the next moment.

i was definitely admire the person and was about to get to know him.

only to discover i was cheated.

he definitely played me.

i was shocked to know he was eventually close to a person i trust.

i mean that i knew the girl who was with him had a boyfriend~!

cos i knew i saw & tegur her before when she went dating wit her bf.

they might be friends.

but can a friend be having dinner, just the 2 of them & lepak together just the 2 of them for like 3 days or so?

i don't know. i might jump into conclusion so fast, but i know i was hurt!

DEFINITELY IT HURTS!

i was down!

i talked to the girl when i, azrie and nadh went to DM.

haha. but my mind was elsewhere. i couldn't straight.. *weak smile*

soon i discovered i went night ranger with all 4 of FSKTM students of different year intake!! haha

padan muka! amat la tensen ngan exam x prepare sgt, pastu kena sebijik bdk yg diminati ngan org lain. *weeeee... benci~!*

i was so hurt even what other said to me i couldn't accept.

so... i went off to sms-ing husna about it!

damn love her for being supportive! as well as azrie + nadhrah for being there!

love the 3 of them for being there.. :)

appreciated u guys much. XD

lepas sms-ing husna, i sms-ing firdaus. *my fave 1st year guy junior*

thx a bunch to him for giving me a supportive shoulder and inspiration!

thanks for supporting me and on my side.

the way husna, azrie + nadhrah been supportive the whole night and morning!

haha. oh x habaq yg kitaorg kuar gi jalan2 kat kl from 12 in the morning to 6am~!!!!

woooohooo!

kami gila... hahahahhahahaha..

anyway, take note that i still HURT~!

but thanks for the ride~! totally forgot about it the whole 6 hours. hahaha..

aqela is moving on~~

broken heart ke? not me. maybe. [done]

perasaan hari ini kurang baik~! entah mengapa. maybe sebab ternampak sesuatu yg unexpected. terkejut kah saya? yup. terkejut bangat. kenapa terkejut? entah. tp x perlu. sebab saya rasa saya mempunyai hati yg kuat mcm tiger biskut. berikut luahan hati dan keluhan hati. =) kekadang terasa tertipu kerana si DIA sebab teringin DIA. tp ku pasrah udah. kumbang bukan seorg! *aqela smile ok~!* :)


am i broken hearted? 50/50

did i actually knew the case where the person actually did have someone special?
yes, i doubt he did, but he didn't tell me the truth. always told me he is scared to be in love.

am i sad? most probably~!

am i jealous?
not really cos i knew somewhere deep inside he have someone. i knew cos he couldn't accept me.

am i a damn ass to believe him? maybe. to think back, yeah maybe.

have i actually moved on with life without him? yeah. something like 60/40 or 70/30.

will i eventually forget him? yeah, i know i will. but it takes time.

why did i feel pain? i have no idea

do i still like him? no~! *seriously*

why i sometimes feel pity for myself? cos i think i wasn't that confident. can't fight for what i want. i am weak. i din't get what i want. FULL STOP.( *.*')V

why did i still felt the pain, not a pang of jealous, but the pain of looking to things i didn't get?
no idea. the feeling is something complex..

[end for now]

**feeling sad but not so. macam mana tu? hahaha*

hati ini memanggil kamu~

perasaan apa kah ini? saya sgt bosan. hehe. SAD exam paper baru habis today. meaning, i left only 1 paper to go, which is my beloved Data Structure~! seyesly quite tough. but i have 3 days to study harder and harder. saya nak lulus. nak sgt. pastu carry mark DS saya x bagus cam member saya. saya nak dpt sama ngan member saya, tp x dpt achieve. saya rasa sebab labtest saya x bagus. x tak dapat buat ngan baik2. saya sedih. SAD exam td pun x berapa nak okay. asyik tgk hussein madya, budak indon tu wat, saya jadi gelabah. terpikir di benak hati; "ADOI! kenapa qiqi x baca ngan byk ni? nak tulis byk2 cam hussein." hussein buat dengan sgt relax! org yg kat sebelah pulak yg takut. saya sgt blank. tak terkata apa dier nak. especially soklan no 3. yg lain ok sikit kot. confident 2 soklan je ok. lg 3, hurm.. heee menyesal nye~ tp sebab saya tengok result carry mark DS saya mlm sebelum tu kot. saya x de mood. hurm, so nampaknye kena study la utk DS kesygan ku itu. :) saya x nak tengok muka saya dlm kelas tu lagi. saya malu. sangat malu. asyik muka saya je ada dlm tu. saya sendiri bosan tgk muka saya dlm kelas tu. kalo comel + pandai nye muka xpe ar lg. ni asyik wat muka blur + mengantuk. apa la. patut malu akan diri sendiri. hehe ni pun patut baca buku DS ni. sila hafal ya~ hahaha

pastu apa lg eh.. oh yeah. siapa dh tengok 'talentime' by yasmin ahmad? pretty good movie though. that indian guy is soooo hensem~! haha. but i like the songs more la. sungguh bermakna. haha. anyway, ada satu lagu ni called 'angel' by atilia. i'm not sure whether most of u know her or not. but that is one her song beside sangkar. this song have 2 versions which is in english as well as malay, just like the other 2 songs sang by aizat called 'just one boy' and 'i go'. good translation i can say. ahaa quite good~! anyway, this is a portion of the angel song in malay, which kept singing and stuck in my brain:

angel, tunjukkan la mata hati mu
seperti selalu
ku tahu
kerdipan bintang
pasti kau hilang

(chorus)
bawa daku bersama mu
oooo
bawa daku bersama mu
oooo

ku inginkan hanya kamu
percaya la kepada ku
angin hembuskan rindu ku
ku tahu nurani diri ku
mahu ku hanya kamu
lirikan senyuman yg membisu
tetapi hanya kamu

ini x penuh tau. atas dier dh hilang. saya x dapat tangkap apa dier nyanyi. hehe.

this is the english version:

Angel

I have a dream of you I can't defined

You've been on my mind

Don't go

I feel lost without you by my side

Lost and on my own

Yeah I'm falling for an angel

Angel

Your brightest star is shining next to mine

Every night and day

You know

Stars exploded then they fade away

Then they fade away

Yeah I'm falling for an angel

Yeah I'm falling for an angel

Would you please be my babe

Come by and I lay you down

I'm loving when you say

I love you too

Won't you please be my honey

I'm sorry that I let you down

Your eyes are breaking my heart in two

Break my heart in two

Angel

May the one above us keep you safe

Every night and dayIf he knows

How I love the smile all on your face

When you are here to stay

Yeah I'm falling for an angel

Yeah I'm falling for an angel

so long, so slow, yet so romantic~! haha saya agak suka lagu nie. sebab saya teringat sesuai. certain people akan tahu kenapa saya suka. ada lagu satu lagu saya suka juga. tapi nanti la saya copy and paste the lyrics.

owh how i really can't wait for holidays~! i want my holiday! i want i want i want. sgt penat dh. roomate dh packing barang. dierorg dh habis exam! best nye. apatah lagi roomate saya sempat berlawak kata 'kiki, nak coklat utk awak. utk happy2 day. exam saya dh habis and saya nak balik!' wahh jeles. haha. saya ada lagi satu paper. x best. :)

saya nak gi genting~ sapa nak teman? jom la gi ramai2. :) saya nak.